User:TripleU/Sandbox4

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Spraypaint

Inside (To Survivors)

Rotter's Relief = PKer's Relief Zombies are united as one, survivors are divided. The survivor's specialty: Leave friends to die. Survivors are narcissists! Zombies are humbler! Survivors are shortsighted idealists. Survivors fear zombies. Zombies fear nothing. Surrender to the hordes, and help destroy Malton! Join the hordes, and exist without material needs! Shamble and kill, rather than scavenge to survive! Zombies: the final, superior stage of evolution. Here's an FYI: you're all gonna die screaming. Zombies are proudly unified, survivors are tasty. Commit suicide now, or prepare to be eaten alive! Window dive into the best undeath of your life! There's no point to life, but plenty to unlife. Attack a zombie, and you will gain nothing. Reload, reload, reload... or just use your claws. At the end of the day, you'll be dead either way. Live locked inside some mall? Why live at all? Gee, it sure is boring playing as a survivor... Dinner is served! Are you the meal, or the zombie? You find survival, and discard it as useless. Zombies horde together, survivors fall apart. Barhah is good! Pants are evil! Barhah is good! Overthrow breatherism! Bring on an age of barhah! The dead are simple. The living are simpleminded. Zombies can eat all they want, and never get fat. If you suspect someone is a zombie spy, kill them! Zombies wish only to prepare and serve mankind. Stay informed on Malton: tinyurl.com/MaltonHS Learn the truth from experts: tinyurl.com/MaltonHS Superb, unbiased news source: tinyurl.com/MaltonHS Death is just the next great culinary adventure.

Outside (To Zombies)

Annaz Harr!b!r!z ghan brang gaa mannah bra!nz! Annus Horribilis is the most efficient horde ever! Join Annus Horribilis, and become a death machine! Annus Horribilis: Opening doors. And skulls. Defend the homeland; Join the RRF! Silence those blundering breathers; Join SFHNAS! MAHB haz bra!nz! MAHB haz barhah! Ga!n MAHB! Zombies are united as one, survivors are divided. The survivor's specialty: Leave friends to die. Survivors are narcissists! Zombies are humbler! Survivors are shortsighted idealists. Survivors fear zombies. Zombies fear nothing. Zombies: the final, superior stage of evolution. Zombies are proudly unified, survivors are tasty. Revive Points are boring, put those claws to use! When dead, act like a zombie: Eat people! Zombies horde together, survivors fall apart. Barhah is good! Pants are evil! Barhah is good! Overthrow breatherism! Bring on an age of barhah! The dead are simple. The living are simpleminded. Zombies can eat all they want, and never get fat. Spread the undead! Join a horde or a strike team! Zombies wish only to prepare and serve mankind. Stay informed on Malton: tinyurl.com/MaltonHS Learn the truth from experts: tinyurl.com/MaltonHS Superb, unbiased news source: tinyurl.com/MaltonHS

Broadcasts

Personal Space Differentiation(3)

It's kinda depressing that zombies can cuddle together to keep warm, and us ratty survivors shoot each other in the face if we get as close as two feet.

December Only: Weather (7)

And now, the weather: A cold front is coming in, making it DANGEROUSLY COLD outside. We expect HEAVY RAIN to persist throughout the week, followed by SNOW on the 17th. A WINTER ADVISORY is now in effect. Do not lock or barricade your doors, as anyone outside will need somewhere to keep warm. For heat, burn anything flammable, namely doors, wooden barricades, gunpowder from bullets, fuel, or first aid kits.

MHS 2 (9)

Today I was asked how much longer will the war go on. How much longer will humans have to suffer before being eradicated from this peaceful city of ours? The answer is soon, Malton. Very soon. But we must work together -- both zombies and survivors -- if Malton is to reach its true greatness. Just imagine it. One, unified Malton. Free of oppression and hatred. Built on the great ideals that have held our city together for so long: Freedom. Liberty. Human Genocide. We will be great again Malton. Together.

MHS 1 (9)

Oftentimes, I am asked 'Who is the Resistance'? The Resistance is YOU. Look around you, dear citizens of Malton. It is your neighbors and family, clawing their way into your safehouse. It is everything that is still decent and good in Malton, from the sunny, barricade-free streets in Ridleybank to the piles of human bodies still burning in the Stanbury Village atrocity zones. This is why we resist. This is why we are fighting. One day, Malton will be free. Free of hatred. Free of poverty and violence. Free of humans.

MHS 4 (10)

Let us now talk about something a little darker, Malton. Let us talk about the disease that still exists in our streets, in our buildings, and in our very way of life: Humanity... By now, you may have noticed the roving zombie death squads outside in your home suburb. Do not fear them, Malton, for they are there to help make you safe. Do not run when they slaughter your friends and loved ones. They are there to protect you. They are there to help make this once-great city beautiful again. Prosperous. Clean. Human-free. Together, we can change Malton for the better.

MHS 10 (13)

Let me ask you a question, survivors. When was the last time you saw the sun? As I sit here in Ridleybank, looking around our perfect suburb, with the sunlight coming through our pristine windows, I am reminded exactly what makes our perfect zombie society so great. Freedom. Fresh air. Sunlight. Humans roasting slowly outside on a spit. And we want to share those experiences with all of you. We want all of you to experience the simple joys in life, joys that we, and our human slaves, take for granted everyday. You do not have to live in the darkness. You do not have to live in fear. Come to Ridleybank, and join our perfect society, where zombies and humans live together in perfect harmony. Do you not owe it to yourself to be happy Malton?

MHS 12 (14)

A week ago, a survivor asked me who to contact about collecting the possessions of family members killed while relocating to the peaceful utopia of Ridleybank. Such questions lead me to believe that there are many of you who do not fully understand the society we are building in Ridleybank. To my knowledge, not one human has ever been harmed while in Ridleybank. And indeed, how could they be, for violence, of any kind, has been banned from the suburb for the better part of a year? We are simply one family, composed of both survivors and zombies, committed to building a better tomorrow. To answer your question, you may want to check Lost and Found. If you're entering Ridleybank from the south, it should be on your left, past the Human Liquidation Factories, but before the electric cages.

MHS 8 (14)

Oftentimes, survivors ask what makes Ridleybank the perfect society. The answer is simple, my dear Malton: Community. Everyone here is family. Everyone here has a purpose. From the lowly human awaiting their glorious day of execution to the perfect zombie, everyone here has their place in our great society. In Ridleybank, together, we - both zombies and humans - can build the ideal society. A peaceful society where every need is provided and every citizen can live a long and purposeful life. Where even humans can be guaranteed safety and the opportunity to accomplish something great in their short, meaningless lives. You no longer have to be afraid, Malton. You no longer have to fear dying alone. Come to Ridleybank and become part of our community. Experience true freedom.

MHS 6 (14)

Several people have asked why Malton, the greatest zombie city in the world, has become a mere shadow of itself. Deep down, we all know what the answer is. It pains us to say it, but we all know it is true: Humanity came. Some of us came to believe that humans and zombies could coexist peacefully. We believed that we could become one united community, built on the ideas of freedom, truth, and the complete eradication of the human race. And now you see how these humans have repaid our kindness. They barricade our houses. They trash our streets. They lash out at us with violence. But we are stronger than that. We will bring back what was once great about our city. Happiness, and prosperity will be ours once again, one human life at a time. Malton will be free once again.

MHS 11 (15)

Recently, I have received complaints from humans relocating to central Malton that the Greater Ridleybank area is not the perfect, peaceful utopia that I have promised. Patience, my soon-to-be-killed cattle. Patience. Not every survivor can adjust right away to life in Ridleybank, where humans are nothing more than a nuisance to be crushed under our feet. Like many things in life, you will have to work a little before you can experience the greatness that is occupied, downtown Malton. And like most things, I think you will find that your hard work will be rewarded with acceptance into a community that loves each and every one of you. Eternal happiness. Safety. The ideal place to raise a family. All this and more can be yours once you join our perfect, peaceful society here in Ridleybank. We look forward to you becoming part of our family.

MHS 9 (16)

Yesterday, I came across a young human dying in the streets. His legs and right arm had been torn off by ferals, and he was holding a towel against his limbs to stem the bleeding. As I came up to him, he started crying. I asked him why he was he crying, and he told me that he was crying because he realized that he nothing more to give to the RRF. Nothing more to give. As I rolled his broken body off a bridge in Stanbury Village, I thought more about his final words. How often do we go about our day without giving to others? Can we not learn from this courageous young man, and make it a point in our lives to give back to our perfect, zombie, community? So humans, take a hard look at your meaningless lives, and ask yourself, 'What have I done recently for my local zombie horde? Have I given everything I could possibly give?' It is only by helping others that we are able to help ourselves.

MHS 13 (16)

Revive. We have all heard the dangers of this abusive drug. Indeed, it is hard to believe that even in our perfect, peaceful utopia, there are some who are still addicted to this life-destroying substance. But how can we protect our children, our families, and ourselves from this terrible drug? The answer, dear listeners, is through education and eternal vigilance. Warn your children about revive. Teach them to recognize its harmful effects before it is too late. Kill survivors before they have a chance to stick you. Humans understand this. They know that painful, excruciating death is merely a transitional state from pointless existence to perfect understanding of unlife in Malton. And rest assured, Malton, that the RRF will continue to do its part in ridding the streets of Revive. Together, we can fight this epidemic. Together we can ensure the continuing existence of our perfect society in Ridleybank.

===MHS 14 (16) Someone asked me recently if there were any plans to start up similar communities outside of Ridleybank. Believe me, dear listeners, nothing would make us happier than to consolidate Malton underneath our peaceful, perfect community. But humans and zombies must be willing to embrace change. Peaceful zombie/human cohabitation will never be possible until humans can accept being chained in electric cages, gloriously waiting the day of their execution, when they can finally leave their meaningless existence behind and enter our perfect family. But we will try our best, Malton. We will try to unite this war-divided land, and bring hope to all areas of Malton, not just Ridleybank. In the meantime, be patient and prepare yourselves for the coming day, when you too may be welcomed into our perfect little society. Until that day, be patient Malton. Be patient and prepare yourselves for the great journey.

MHS 5 (16)

Look around you, survivors. How many of you have children? Do any of them really enjoy spending all day trapped inside a barricade, a death-trap? How many of them will grow up to be a productive member of our great, zombie society? The answer is all of them, Malton. But only if we work together. We must put aside our differences -- Zombie and Human -- and focus on the future. And your children are our future. Without healthy, human children, we will starve. Without healthy, human children, we will be forced to hunt the rest of you, rather than relying on the selective, scheduled harvesting of your ripened children. Imagine, your children. Fulfilling the great human dream: to serve as fodder for our growing armies. It is a role that any good parent would be proud to have their child take part in. Survivors of Malton, if we work together, we will rebuild this city of ours. If we work together, we will make Malton great once again.

MHS 3 (16)

I feel that there is a grave misunderstanding regarding the place of humans in our great zombie society. Many of you have expressed concern that butchering every living man, woman and child goes against the very ideals of our peaceful culture. Nothing could farther from the truth, Malton. Humans are given every liberty and freedom in our great city. They are provided food, shelter, and healthcare. They are given every resource to succeed in life, from job placement services to free education for their children. One of the happiest days for any human is Graduation Day, where proud parents can watch as their children receive their diploma, get their photo taken beside the Great Petroskjo Statue, before being ground up in a block-wide, industrial grinder. Remember Malton, we will always be judged based on how we treat the least among us. Remember Malton, we kill you because we love you.

MHS 30 (17)

Today a child asked me a question that I would like to share with all of you. She asked me, 'If zombies represent the pinnacle of human evolution, why would anyone want to be revived? Why would they choose to become a lower lifeform?' A difficult question, and one that I have struggled with many times to answer. Sometimes humans do things that defy all expectations: Combat reviving brain-rotters. Dam tactics. Sleeping in Ridleybank. Sometimes they are overwhelmed by the perfection that comes with being a zombie, and for whatever misguided reason, they miss spending every waking moment of their day in a crowded safehouse, barricading while whistling "Daisy Bell." In truth Malton, I have given up trying to understand the primitive human mind. I do not know what would drive someone to give up this perfect life in Utopia, a life that you, I and every zombie enjoys here in Ridleybank. The one thing I do know is that every human in Malton must be destroyed.

Anti-Life Cultist Story (18)

Guess what time it is! Zombie Story Time! A young child, Gragh, begins acquiring plenty of flesh. Her brother, Zmazharh, asks her where she's getting it from. Gragh said 'I have got it from a strange zombie. But don't tell mother! The zombie strictly forbade me to do so!' Zmazharh is curious, so they agree to go together. When they arrive, the zombie wants them to go with him. Zmazharh hesitates -- Zmazharh thinks: What does this zombie want of us? Why should we go with him? A great fear came over him. 'You're a life cultist!', he shouts, and, seizing his little sister, he lurches off as fast as his rotting legs will carry him. At the corner of the street he meets an experienced feral. Zmazharh quickly rattles his woeful story. The feral soon searches out and mauls the evil life cultist. He tears off his face and waits for him to die. At home, there is great rejoicing. Zmazharh and Gragh's mother drags to them their favorite dish: Vitreous Humor.

MHS 7 (23)

Today a young mother in her holding cell asked me how did Malton come under zombie control. She even went as far to suggest that our glorious rise to ultimate power was built on pointless genocide and that the zombie takeover went against everything that is good about humanity. Nothing could be farther from the truth Malton. The zombies are in power because YOU wanted them. We are in control because YOU, the great people of this great city decided during that YOU wanted CHANGE. That YOU wanted HOPE. A reason to de-barricade your doors once again. And we have answered the call Malton. We have reduced survivor overcrowding. We have brought peace back to our fair city. With mass graves now located around the city, we have discovered ample biomass for our power stations. But, if the day comes when the remaining humans of Malton who have not yet been exterminated decide that they want to be in charge for a change, well, we will do the right thing. We will stand aside and let them have a say in the final days of their meaningless lives. Because we believe in Democracy. In Freedom. In Truth. In the ruthless dictatorship of our perfect zombie leaders. In the desire to kill every human who dares to oppose our benevolent, perfect rule. That is the Malton Way. That is our future.

Spoken

to harmanz