Quartly Lecture Group/Read Aloud Time With SweetIrony
Note from SweetIrony: The following transcript from my perspective records my reading/translating of a book to some of our zombie patrons. Enjoy!
You are inside Quartly Library. The doors to the street have been left wide open. Also here are MiskaTONIC (57HP), Flickman666 (60HP), Htozagla (57HP), Bob the Angry Zombie (60HP), MitchAllTogether (60HP), Dr Kimba (60HP), MrFredSmith (60HP), GrandmaMastaFlash (47HP), doGssssssss (60HP), Trushalo (60HP), Edgar AIIen Poe (60HP), Secret Zombie Agent (60HP), sarah tonin (60HP), Charles Darwin (60HP), Marina (60HP), Screw Names (60HP), Sirkus (60HP), elgala (60HP), D0M0Kun (60HP), asshole doctor (60HP), Sir Fred of Etruria (60HP), RageAgainstTM (50HP), Saint Elisabeth (60HP), Elrod (60HP), xryanx1 (60HP), jambosque (60HP), Jack Terror (60HP), Jarper (60HP), Lilandryl (60HP), The Beatles (60HP), deleterious (60HP), laxiola (50HP), Doctor567 (50HP) and Jefferson32 (60HP).
The building has been decorated with a stuffed eagle, a stuffed alligator, a stuffed lion head, a stuffed monkey, a stuffed crocodile, a stuffed moose head, a stuffed bear, a skull, a monkey skeleton, a faded tapestry, a stuffed fish, a stuffed tiger head, a lizard skeleton and a human skeleton.
Somebody has spraypainted Human/Zombie Harmony Zone - No Cades, No Killing onto a wall.
There is a mob of fifteen other zombies here. You recognise Zombie 6129, GrumbleCake and TheZombieFlanders amongst them.
There are two dead bodies here. One of them smells strange. You recognise BRANAGAN.
Since your last turn:
Jefferson32 said "You could probably learn a lot by reading the profiles of some of the inhabitants." (15 seconds ago)
You say "AH MAH GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You gesture at The Beatles.
Jefferson32 revivified you with a NecroTech syringe. (11 seconds ago)
You say "Thanks, Jefferson!"
laxiola said "Wow, The Beatles and Rage Against The Machine in the library! At the same time even! Is there a concert I didn't know about? Did anyone bring beer?" (6 seconds ago)
Viral Meningitis the zombie said "Brnhr." (5 seconds ago)
You say "Seriously Laxiola, do you think we can get them to do a performance??"
You say "Hi there Viral Meningitis, are you a peaceful zombie? I'll read you a book if you want, here, pick one..."
Viral Meningitis the zombie said "Grh." (1 minute ago)
You say "Oh, Doctor567 , while I am not a Pastafarian myself, I find their belief system fascinating. Would you like to give a speech about it for us here? I'm sure we would all enjoy it."
You say "Sorry VM, I'm getting sidetracked. Now let's see, what book did you pick..."
Damodread the zombie said "Brrh" (15 seconds ago)
Damodread the zombie said "Baah" (20 seconds ago)
You say "You want to listen too, Damodread? Ok, can you both agree on a book?"
You say "Alright, you've picked My Little Golden Book About Zogg Good choice!!"
You say "http://www.whatisdeepfried.com/zogg/zogg1.html" (https://web.archive.org/web/20100327185049/http://www.whatisdeepfried.com/zogg/zogg1.html)
Damodread the zombie said "Graaah" (17 seconds ago)
You say "Here we go. Can you both see the pictures? Everyone else is welcome to listen too, of course. Grumbles, I think you'd like this one..."
You say "WE ARE ZOGG. RA ARH ZAGG."
Damodread the zombie said "Ra arh zagg" (1 minute ago)
You say "Our kind travels between the stars as an endogenous retrovirus encoded into a modulating radio carrier wave in the 1800 kHz range. Zagg ranz an zah zgah... bra!nz bra!nz bra!nz." to the fifty people nearest to you.
Skip Jones the zombie said "Ahma zambah. Ahma za." (51 seconds ago)
You say "Yes, good job Damodread! You're a good reader!" to the fifty people nearest to you.
laxiola said "I would love to hear a speech on Flying Spaghetti Monsterism! I'm a Subgenius myself, and haven't seen any of my kind around Malton." (1 minute ago)
You say "When you look up at the evening sky know that we have conquered 48.729% of the known Universe. An zah zgah, Zagg hab grab grab grab." to the fifty people nearest to you.
Damodread the zombie said "Hrn rrh rrh rh hra hrh rrnrng nrh ha rh harh rnrrrrh. Rh hrh nrn rnrrrrh" (22 seconds ago)
You say "Shh lax, I'm reading to the zombies! *ahem* Telepathic control of lower lifeforms turns insects into your slaves. Bra!ngrabbang magz zah bagz harb Zagg." to the fifty people nearest to you.
You say "This world must be consumed and its atmospheric nitrogen levels increased 900%. Zagg grab, zmazh, an harm!" to the fifty people nearest to you.
You say "Pair bond only with fellow Zogg. Nah hag harmanz, anrah hag Zagg." to the fifty people nearest to you.
You say "Pink Zogg will supervise population cleansing. Pang Zagg az ganna harm harmanz." to the fifty people nearest to you.
Eximort the zombie said "Grh." (1 minute ago)
You say "Brown Zogg will command the bird armies. Braan Zagg az ganna graaah zah barh armahz." to the fifty people nearest to you.
You say "Are you enjoying the book too, Eximort? I hope you can see the pictures." to the fifty people nearest to you.
You say "http://www.whatisdeepfried.com/zogg/zogg1.html" to the fifty people nearest to you.
You say "Destroy human hosts and begin breeding immediately. Zmazh harmanz an zhan banana gangbang." to the fifty people nearest to you.
You say "Lay zoggling eggs in secluded fields away from large predators. Hab babahzaggz arrah hram zah harm an zmazh." to the fifty people nearest to you.
You say "Zoggling larvoids will hatch and take root in 2-4 glorns. Babahzaggz arh ganna graah zaan." to the fifty people nearest to you.
You say "Hats will conceal budding pineal antennae. Umm... Zagg... bra!nz.... bra!nz bra!nz." to the fifty people nearest to you.
You say "Gather information from bird spies through memory transimilation. Grab barh bra!nz, grab grab bra!nz." to the fifty people nearest to you.
You say "Use negarays to vaporize humans who uncover our plans. Zagg bra!nz arh ganna zmazh bah harmanz." to the fifty people nearest to you.
You say "Mimic human infant traits until gametogenesis begins. Devour any competitor spawn. Bah ah babah harman. Grab bra!nz ab azzarh babah harmanz." to the fifty people nearest to you.
You say "Draining humans of their spinal nectar will build strength. Zagg grab bra!ngarg, magz habbah Zagg." to the fifty people nearest to you.
You say "The humans are weak. Harmanz arh nah zgarrah, nah hab bangbang." to the fifty people nearest to you.
You say "The elderly are easiest to control and make willing servants. Harman grammaz arh hagz." to the fifty people nearest to you.
You say "If captured, send a distress wave and await extraction. Ab harmanz grab Zagg, GRAAAAAHHH!!!" to the fifty people nearest to you.
You say "Zogg star tankers will arrive in 57 years to begin nitrogen harvesting. Zaggz arh ganna gam rannang, grab an zmazh." to the fifty people nearest to you.
You say "DO NOT FAIL YOUR SPECIES. NAH HARM ZAGG BRAZZAHZ." to the fifty people nearest to you.
You say "The end!! I hope you all enjoyed the book, it's one of my favourites. Excellent choice, VM, Damodread. Ok Skip, now I can rev you... I was worried before that I might be too tired to finish the story." to the fifty people nearest to you.
Exhausted, you can go no further.
Following standard procedures, you press the syringe into the back of the zombie's neck and pump the glittering serum into its brain and spinal cord.
There is a thin pneumatic hiss, and the zombie staggers forward, limbs shuddering, before slumping to the floor as if dead. Skip Jones's skin shivers for a moment, and the contents of the syringe begin their slow, molecular work.
You are inside Quartly Library. The doors to the street have been left wide open. Also here are Bob the Angry Zombie (60HP), doGssssssss (60HP), Trushalo (60HP), Secret Zombie Agent (60HP), Marina (60HP), RageAgainstTM (50HP), Elrod (60HP), jambosque (60HP), Jarper (60HP), Dr Kimba (60HP), Saint Elisabeth (60HP), Edgar AIIen Poe (60HP), Doctor567 (46HP), The Beatles (60HP), MitchAllTogether (60HP), MiskaTONIC (60HP), MrFredSmith (60HP), Screw Names (60HP), sarah tonin (60HP), xryanx1 (60HP), GrandmaMastaFlash (36HP), Jefferson32 (60HP), Lilandryl (60HP), Jack Terror (60HP), Sirkus (60HP), BRANAGAN (50HP), Skip Jones (60HP), Joshferatu (60HP), elgala (60HP), laxiola (50HP) and Charles Darwin (60HP).
A portable generator has been set up here. It is running, and powering a radio transmitter that's currently set to 28.34 MHz. The building has been decorated with a stuffed eagle, a stuffed alligator, a stuffed lion head, a stuffed monkey, a stuffed crocodile, a stuffed moose head, a stuffed bear, a skull, a monkey skeleton, a faded tapestry, a stuffed fish, a stuffed tiger head, a lizard skeleton and a human skeleton.
Somebody has spraypainted Human/Zombie Harmony Zone - No Cades, No Killing onto a wall.
There is a mob of sixteen zombies here. You recognise TheZombieFlanders, D0M0Kun, GrumbleCake and Flickman666 amongst them.
There is a dead body here.
Since your last turn:
Viral Meningitis the zombie said "Graaaagh!" (exactly 14 hours ago)
Ernie the Awesome the zombie said "Zaggz arh ganna gam rannang, grab an zmazh!" (exactly 14 hours ago)
Ernie the Awesome the zombie said "Zan arh" (13 hours and 59 minutes ago)
Ernie the Awesome the zombie gestured at you. (13 hours and 59 minutes ago)
Ernie the Awesome the zombie said "Zan rh" (13 hours and 58 minutes ago)
Skip Jones said "Thank you. Damn, I got my monocle all bloody. Did you guys know that the zombies out there aren't friendly? They're a bunch of jerks! My camping trip was NOT succesful in the least!" (13 hours and 56 minutes ago)
Skip Jones said "I see BRANAGAN's dead again. Did Goreguzzle need to make another point about how peaceful he is?" (13 hours and 55 minutes ago)
Dr Kimba healed you for 10 HP. (13 hours and 55 minutes ago)
Viral Meningitis the zombie said "Brnhr." (13 hours and 54 minutes ago)
Dr Kimba said "Wow, there're 50 dead bodies outside, that's got to be pretty unsanitary." (13 hours and 54 minutes ago)
Mozilla the zombie said "Na barragahz ang na gangbang??" (13 hours and 36 minutes ago)
You heard a loud groaning from very close by. (13 hours and 36 minutes ago)
Mozilla the zombie said "Harh harh harh harh!" (13 hours and 35 minutes ago)
Doctor567 said "I seem to have misplaced The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, i was wondering if any of you had a spare copy lying around???" (13 hours and 35 minutes ago)
Mozilla the zombie gestured at Edgar AIIen Poe. (13 hours and 35 minutes ago)
Mozilla the zombie said "Aggarh Ahhan Bah!" (13 hours and 34 minutes ago)
Doctor567 said "does he have a copy?" (13 hours and 34 minutes ago)
Sir Fred of Etruria said "We of the Quartly Library may or may not have been touched by his noodly appendage, but I can say, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that we support pirates and are opposed to global warming..." (13 hours and 20 minutes ago)
Sir Fred of Etruria said "But a couple things.... Xiola, I would be honored to have you join. It seems everyone here is infected, and I am sadly equipped... do you have bandages ?" (13 hours and 18 minutes ago)
Sir Fred of Etruria said "Mz.Irony, I ♥ that story... er, I mean, gospel. Everytime I hear it I get all tingly inside...." (13 hours and 17 minutes ago)
Sir Fred of Etruria said "Grumblecakes, you went through all the trouble of getting a rotter revive to PK me... I never said this but... **wipes a tear from the corner of his eye** I love you buddy ! **Hugs zombie, they both weep**" (13 hours and 15 minutes ago)
Sirkus said "'Twas a great story! Can we read it again?" (13 hours and 13 minutes ago)
